THE LIST OF DOOM

The Reason I Write (No Bullshitting):

- Because I can stand still for a quarter of an hour watching someone
- Because I’m afraid of the dark.
- Because I read a lot
- Because rainy days are my best days
- Because trees look better to me when they have no leaves
- I drink
- I smoke
- I laugh out loud and can’t remember why
- I make lame jokes
- I’m quiet when I shouldn’t be. I talk when silence is necessary. Scream while people smile, and smile while people scream.
- Because I LURV Marilyn Monroe
- I can’t stand it when people lie, cause I lie enough myself
- Because I used to pick all the sesame seeds off my hamburger buns when I was a kid. Every one.
- Because for the most part I am an only child
- Because I still climb trees
- Because I’ll pour $30 into my gas tank just to “go driving somewhere”.
- Because I love music.
- I own cats.
- Because I’m not sure if the cat owns me or I own it.
- Because I race with my dogs
- Because the first thing I do at night when I come out of my car is look at the stars.
- Because I can’t concentrate when things are clean.
- I would stay at $7 an hour if someone over 70 with spray-on confetti in their hair comes in (that’s where you’ll find me).
- Because I think graffiti is art.
- Because I think most art is trash.
- Because drinking coffee at three in the morning at Waffle House will make my week.
- Because the Devil is in the details.
- Because I think it would be funny if the Devil really was Marilyn Manson.
- My eyes turn gray
- Because I quote comedians and public speakers constantly.
- Because I watch C-SPAN. At THREE IN THE MORNING.
- I crave change.
- Because Kiss Me I’m Irish ß No, really, I am.
- I don’t live for the moment, I live for the spaces in between.
- Because bowling seems very punk-rock to me.
- Because I’ve never learned to play an instrument well.
- Because I have the memory of a goldfish.
- Because this list is very important to me.

But most of all;

Because it’s just what I do.